Never Eat Alone-My Rare Opportunity to Read for Pleasure

Yes, it sounds strange. As an English major you’d expect me to read veraciously. However, it seems that all too often I spend so much time reading materials for classes and other activities that about the only “pleasurable” reading I get time to do is the online newspaper and blogs.

Last week, I visited a friend after returning from the day’s CD Conference activities. Before I left, he handed me a book and said I absolutely had to read it…right away. I was intrigued, as people do not usually hand me books and tell me to read them. So I made an effort to do so for this one-Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi. Right there, I’m in trouble-I often eat alone. Of course, it's a figurative statement. Seriously though, there are some great quotes and pearls of wisdom in the book.

Key Quotes:

“When you help others they often help you.”
I’ve always tried to do this…everyone needs help to be successful, and we must give help in order to expect to receive it.

“You’ve got to be more than willing to accept generosity. Often, you’ve got to go out and ask for it.”
Something I’ve not always done…I can sometimes be stubbornly independent.

“There’s no need to ponder whether it’s their lunch or yours. There’s no need to keep track of favors done and owed.”
If someone is a true friend, they’ll repay you in the long run ten times over.

“Do you understand that it’s your team’s accomplishments, and what they do because of you, not for you, that will generate your mark as a leader?”
Cliché as it may sound…there is no I in team. No matter my personal accomplishments in my work and my organizations, it’s not about me. Instead it is about what I can do/have dome for the whole.

“Many executive assistants are their bosses’ minority partners. Don’t think of them as “secretaries” or “assistants.” In fact, they are associates and lifelines.”
This could easily be called Job Seeking or Lobbying 101. I’ve been in classes where profs have told stories of secretaries being the ones making the hiring decision with a simple thumbs up or down.

When lobbying, many students are bummed out when they realize that we often only meet with Legislative Assistants. What they don’t realize is, and I’ve heard this time and time again…the LA is the legislator’s partner, and often has more influence on that member’s decision making process than people think.

“Shared interests are the basic building blocks of any relationship.”
One has to find a way to connect with people.

“Make follow up automatic.”
If we don’t follow up, the headway made in a meeting could be all for naught.

“Friendships are the foundation for a truly powerful network.”
I’ve said it for years…artificial separation of one’s work (or political) and personal life is a load of BS.

“Every conversation you have is an invitation to risk revealing the real you…the real winners…are those people who put it all out there and don’t waste a bunch of time and energy trying to be something (or someone) they’re not”
I’ve blogged before about the pressure to “watch oneself” in public…the idea that everything I say as a leader could be put under a microscope. (Julie's post about the double standard) Yes, it is important not to say anything inflammatory or inappropriate, but my advice to anyone would be to be real, to be yourself when you are dealing with Professors, administrators or your boss…because they are people too…and if you’re real with them, they’ll be more real with you.

“There’s no better way to learn something, and become an expert at it, than to have to teach it.”
Learn by doing, learn by teaching…clearly one learns, or relearns, quite a bit once they know they are going to be teaching it. I know that will happen to me.

“Balance is a myth.”
I’ve often thought about balance in my life. The author argues that too many people think of balance as “X hours doing each activity” instead of what really matters…filling your life with work you enjoy, and people you care about. That’s how I’ve tried to live…maybe I have balance after all.

“Everyone fails in life.”
Yep…I know I have. What matters is that I get back up and keep trying. I try to learn and grow from my failures and mistakes.

In addition to these, several other good points were made:

• It is important to build relationships as both a mentor and mentee.
• In the grand scheme of things, GPA has little bearing on success (Also, see my essay “Grade OCD”)
• Set goals
• Make lists
• Find a personal “board of advisors”…people trusted to help you out. I know I have a few

Finally, I was surprised, albeit pleased, to see blogs mentioned several times. Near the end of the book, Ferrazzi has this to say about them:

“These self sustaining communities are flourishing. In the future, as personal branding continues to solidify itself as a mainstay in the economy, blogs will become as ubiquitous as resumes. "

And people think blogging is a waste of time. Not. Yes, some blogs are kept just for fun and are not meant for professional “display.” But, one’s blog can also be a good mix of personal and professional, creating a great addition to an online portfolio or personal website (which he suggests, and I’ve thought of on multiple occasions…we’ll see).

All and all, there’s a lot of good advice in the book. It’s framed around business, and I certainly wouldn’t do everything he suggests…the book is not perfect and neither is every bit of the advice provided. But it may be worth a read…especially to those interested in business, politics and student government.

It may all boil down to this: Be yourself, treat your friends right, and realize that you can’t succeed in a vacuum…ask for help and share credit for your accomplishments with those who helped you get there.